First of all, I don’t feel sorry for myself. Feeling sorry for myself means that I am not being accountable my actions. We, meaning humans, are responsible for the choices we make, the actions we take, and the people we surround ourselves with. I didn’t put that darn fibroid in my body an many illnesses and diseases are uncontrollable. What we do have control over is how we respond to the news of illness/disease and other life changing situations.
Secondly, what I am going through is not life threatening and I realize many people face much more extreme and life altering illnesses than what I am going through right now. With that said, I am tired and I often feel defeated.
I was excited when I found out that I had a fibroid in my uterus. Strange, I know, but it meant that there was some hope. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I was diagnosed with IBS…three different times now over the course 10+years, three different symptoms each time. Irritable Bowl Syndrome pretty much covers everything and to me seems to be what doctors diagnose you with when they dont know what the heck is really going on. Last March I started a long bout of what I call Bad Belly Syndrome (BBD). What this means is that I was have diarrhea, loose bowel, and just plain yucky feeling. I thought I was having a reaction to too many hard boiled Easter eggs but after I quit eating the eggs the BBD continued. I am a teacher and the last week of April was Spring Break. I seldom have plans over break and it was a good thing I didnt because I spent much of break on and off the toilet. The story of my life- If I am home for an extended period of time you can bet I spend a lot of time on the toilet. I finally went back to my GI doc in May or June and have been battling with her ever since. Dont get me wrong, I like her. She is very real and has frank discussions with me talking about “Shit”. <–crude I know but that word is often used in our discussions, she has no
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| Shufflin’ around the hospital |
qualms about using “potty mouth” during my visit. Anyhow she and several other doctor like to say that what I am experiences is because I am training so much, I have stress in my life, I need to change my diet… Guess what? I dont train very hard. I do push my body (when I race) but most of my issues happen outside of my running. I don’t get “runners trots” (well, there was this one time) and I dont often feel horrible when I am running like I do when I am rested. The problem lies in that when I am rested I have GI issues which makes me less motivated to get out and do things.
After talking to some friends and other people with similar symptoms I decided to explore the possibility that problems in my “girl parts” could be contributing to my GI issues. Did I think that was the answer to all of my problems-nope, but I had hope that maybe it could help explain some of what was going on. After much convincing I finally found a doctor to listen to me and guess what-big ole baby fibroid was discovered. In the mean time I had tried changing my diet, religiously followed a low-FODMAP diet for 6 weeks, and transitioned into gluten-free eating. Nothing changed except that I wasn’t really experiencing diarrhea anymore but my bowel movement still weren’t quite right! I still had some pains and just didn’t feel great, most of the time. After several doctors appointments I finally scheduled surgery to have my Fibroid removed-December 11, 2013. Through this process, the reproductive specialists that I was working with had suggested I get a second opinion in regards to the IBS diagnosis. I will be getting second opinion. The earliest I could get into the IBS specialist is May! I am still working with my GI doc and as a matter of fact I will be seeing her next week, to talk about shit. My surgery couldn’t get here soon enough. About a month before surgery new pains in my “pooping parts” had developed and my doctors said is was probably just hemorrhoids or fissures and didn’t think anything of it. When I gave my plea as to why I didn’t think that was the case my GI did her best to convince me otherwise. So I brushed it off but about two weeks before the surgery I was in bad pain, strange things were happening with my pooping parts and my bowel movements and I was tired of fighting the fight so I figured I would just have to wait until after the surgery.
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| My first run after surgery |
Its now after the surgery. I was good for almost a week. Once I was feeling better from the surgery the GI issues started and have been going ever since. The pain in my left side is gone-probably becuase the fibroid is no longer pushing everything to the left. But the other stuff is still there. There have been days when was painful to sit down.
I started back to work part time this week. I was talking to a coworker about autoimmune diseases and how diet can help and that some autoimmune diseases can affect GI. Part of me feels like I am grasping at straws and am denial about the “untreatable” IBS diagnosis but I strong part of me feels that what I am going through is more than IBS. I did some research, one thing led to another and I found some information to back up my concerns. I am ready to go into my appointment on Tuesday, ready for a “fight”. Keep in mind that I have been researching and trying to find answers this whole time but my symptoms have changed over time and I feel I have a clearer understanding of what is going on. What I do know: meat and vegetables trigger my bowel issues more often than not. I have specific pains, I have specific things going on with my bowel movements <—I will spare you the details. One disease that explains more of my symptoms than IBS is Ulcerative Colitis. It is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) Crohn’s disease is also an IBD. I had a colonoscopy 3 years ago so that is something that the docs aren’t even considering since they typically only need to be done every 5 (this is frustrating to me). I had a stool sample when this all started. I am not sure what they tested for but you bet I am going to be asking if they tested for signs of Colitis. I have had blood work done several times for different things, I just cant remember if the GI has done any yet so yep, I will be checking into that. What also gets me is that I have family history with colon concerns. Polyps, Crohns, cancer, blockages (causing removal of part of the colon) are all things that have been going on with various members of my (immediate and not so immediate) family. I just want some real answers with more substantial reasons as to why I am having these issues.
Enough talk about poo. What else is happening behind the scenes. Weight gain. ugh. I didn’t really have any weight gain for about two weeks then all of a sudden my body just shifted. For about a week and half now my body is acting as though I am preparing for pregnancy. My butt should have a sign that reads “wide load” my belly looks like I am 4 months pregnant, my chest, well lets just say it is a good thing I saved some of my big girl undergarments.
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| my butt |
I have gained around 6ish lbs despite the fact that I have been going to the gym, running a little, snow shoeing and being as active as I can be without experiencing pain. I have not been excessively eating. *Something that I didnt think of which was pointed out to me by one of my friends (on facebook) is that I did have some surgery on my girl parts which is bound to affect my hormones. You bet. I did lose a fallopian tube in all of this and that could be a factor with the ole screwy hormone thing that is happening. Doc didn’t really say much about that other than oh, we had to remove the tube, it was over the top of the large fibroid.*
My clothes are definitely not fitting and I am even “filling out” my yoga pants-muffin top and all. What the heck! I had to go back to work part time this week and didnt have enough fat clothes to get me through 3 days. I really hope this is temporary…like real temporary.
So there you have it. This is the not so glamorous behind the scenes that I dont post about on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Tumblr. Might be TMI but you really didnt have to read it now, did you? 🙂
