Call me selfish, but I run for me!

First or last place, you are a bad ass. It doesn’t matter if you only run a mile or if you run 200 miles. If it makes you happy than keep running and BE PROUD!
 
Ragged Mountain 1st AG, Pats Peak 3rd AG
Today I participated in two races. One started at 7am, the other at 6pm. The Winter Wild series takes crazy runners, snow boarders, and skiers up and down ski mountains all the while YOU are sleeping (before the ski areas open). I completed the Winter Wild series last winter. I finished 2nd in my age group for the series last year. This year I was unable to do the whole series due to my surgery recovery. This year I am racing to build back some strength. I had no expectations for placing in these races yet I am 2 for 2 for ending up placing in the top 3 of my age group. Darn it. You see, I am my toughest competition. I race/run for me. I give myself challenges. I am fairly successful within my age group and often end up on the podium for my age group. No one expects me to do this but me. I try to give myself a break but its hard. I don’t want to let myself down.  Today, after my first race I started getting mentally prepared for my second race-snow shoes. I participated in my first snow shoe race last Sunday and lets just say I wasn’t all that impressed. I sucked wind, walked within the first mile, 
Moose Mountain Snow Shoe Race
and I felt like I spent the entire time in an anaerobic state. I managed a first place win for my age group, but it was a small race. Today at 6pm I challenged myself to give snow shoe racing another try. The race was put on by the team I race with acidotic RACING and it was a night race…no brainer, I was going to give it a try. (I ran a trail race on almost the same course this summer and placed second over all for the women) While it sounded like a good idea at the time I was trying to be okay with just running. Go out there and run…have fun. That is not easy for me to do. The “You NEED to place” side of me usually takes over. I saw the above status on my friend Kristina’s facebook page. It was perfect timing. I really needed to read that at that moment. 
Tonight I raced at Kingman but I did it differently than I normally do. I took my time getting to the start. I was near the end of the pack, probably within the last 10-12 people. The horn went off and I didn’t move. Eventually I got to the start, turned on my Nike+ sport watch and ran. I was smiling. I eventually started passing people but only to maintain my pace. NOT to “win”. I had so much fun this race and I beat my desired time which was good enough for me! Yes, I post about running and my races on my personal facebook page however I dont do this to brag or boast. I don’t do this for the kudos and recognition. I do it because I am proud of my accomplishments and my failures. I know not everyone understands and you dont have to. Like I said, my running is for me, my racing is for me.