Self talk on the trails…


So I ran a trail race yesterday and got 2ndoverall woman. My goal was to beat my time from last year. I wasn’t out to win, just beat my time. At least that is what I originally told myself. I don’t know about you but I do a lot of self-talk before and during races. I started out just wanting to beat my time but similar to last year I did have fleeting moments of winning the 10 mile race.  Last year I finished 4th.
My thoughts during the race make me laugh after the race. I figured I would share them with you and see if you can relate.
I lined up at the starting line with my acidotic RACING team mates-all men so we were at the front of the pack. It took me a minute to realize where I was. I looked around and it was all men, I was at the front, like second row front. Thoughts began…

Photo Courtesy of Gianina Lindsay, SNAPacidotic

What the heck am I doing here? Where are all the fast women? Oh geesh.  I think they are looking at me, I wonder what they are saying. I know I don’t belong here, Please don’t think that I think I am one of the FAST racers. I am just hanging with my friends. Don’t worry, you’ll pass me. Oh look there’s Ryan, where’s Kristina, okay she is not running. Where are the fast girls? Could this be another race where I am one of the fast girls? Ha ha. I just want to beat my 1:32. Don’t get hung up on placing. Do your best.

Okay here we go. Keep comfortable, where are the women. Okay this is fast but good. Let the fast men by, okay where are they, c’mon boys pick up the pace. Okay, I just got passed by a woman. I am good with that. Really, it’s okay. I know I am not the fastest woman here. Not possible. Damn I was passed by a woman. She might be running the 4 mile race. I want to keep her in my sights. There she is. Damn this hurts. I need to slow down but…damn where is she. Crap there’s another one. Okay. Worst case scenario I am third. Damn, I am not enjoying this pace. I need to slow down. But it’s a race and I am possibly the 3rd place woman. Okay, don’t get passed again. That is my goal. Run my own race BUT don’t let anymore women pass me. I want to look behind me but I don’t want to jinx it. Okay, I only hear men breathing behind me. Quick look. Don’t think there are any women back there. Okay. Set a goal. Yep, going to try to keep those guys in my sights. Passed by men. That’s okay. Crap they are gone. Crap, this hurts. I want to walk but it’s not really a hill but geesh I want to walk. So fast but yet feel like I am running at a turtles pace. Where is the turn off point, it’s got to be coming up. I want to know if those women turned or if they headed to the long course. Do I ask? Oh Hi Craig. Thanks. Okay, Oh hey Chris…shit I should have asked. Here we go. Onto the long course. Hills and stuff. Let’s do this.
Second wind. Feeling good. Oh hey…who is that…oh yeah he is the guy that was next to me in registration. Oh look mountain bikers. “She’s close, go catch  her then push her down”. Ha ha. Seriously? I wouldn’t push anyone down. Is she really that close? I doubt it. I can’t see her. Ugh, out into the power lines. Ugh sun. Damn its hot. We have to be turning into the woods soon right. Please no snakes, please no snakes. It’s so hot. Back in the woods now? Nope. Oh okay now. Phew. Second wind. Need to catch those guys up there. Probably not going to catch them but a girl can dream. Damn. Feet are getting sore. Stupid bunion. Running running running. It’s hot. Wait, where the heck did he come from? Don’t let him catch you. Don’t do it. Nice, the next aid station is near. I like this part of the trail. I remember it from last year. How am I doing with water? Oh maybe I should get some water. Yes. Aid station. Sip of water, some blue stuff, water in my bottle. Damn that guy just took off. I need to get him. Crap there is the Superman Underoos guy (guy running in superman underwear and wearing a cape). I DO NOT want to be running behind that. I am outta here. Fast. Faster. Do not let him catch up. Oh here is the technical hill stuff. Ouch, ow. Oh. Stupid flippin bunion. Okay he is slowing up on the hill, take him. Huh. I am slowing down too. Not this time. Ouch. Ouch. There he is again oh crap its Super Underoos behind me. Darn, go faster. Shit where is the trail. “you guys see the trail”?  “white arrow goes this way” thanks Mr. Underoos but you are not going to pass me. “I sure hope you know where you’re going because I am following you” chuckle chuckle…he will stay behind me. I don’t want to see that junk. Push it girl. Get away, far away. Okay, I got that guy now. Thanks, You too buddy. I am going to die. Ouch, oh,  ouch…Oh F@%K! My toes, my toes-that hurt. Now it’s not just my bunion. It’s all my toes. Might lose a toenail from that one. Darn rock, it’s not the rocks fault. You’re getting tired.  Oh look there is Tristan. Hmm…wonder if he is hurt. Aid station on the other side of the tunnel. “I think your second woman, go get it”. shot of water. Okay second wind. I wonder how far behind I am. I am all by myself. No one behind me, no one in front of me. Crap. Pay attention. Push yourself. Just a little under 2 miles to go. Push yourself but save a little. Oh hey it’s that fast guy cooling down. “good job, second woman”.  Great. That confirms it, I really am second. It’s okay. I am not fast enough to be first. If I was first that would be the slowest first place finish time ever. Darn. It would have been cool to be first. Ugh. I just want to be done. Push yourself. Okay I hear cowbell. False alarm, there was cowbell but it’s not the finish. Thanks for cheering! Okay keep pushing. Oh awesome I see the building. Oh look its Gianina and Cameron. Smile. C’mon smile. Okay. Push it, the finish is around the corner, push it. Feeling strong. Okay and done. Woo hoo. Cheers. Okay I am second woman.  What. Seriously? I was two minutes slower than last year? Ugh. Oh hey thanks. Yeah but I was two minutes slower than last year.  Okay second woman. Not bad for such a hot day and tired legs. I did climb a few mountains last week. Okay I guess I am okay with my finish time. Next year. Next year I need to be faster. Good thing I got a free entry.
The end.

Look what I found. A picture of Mr. Superman Underoos. I modified the picture a little. I am sure he is a nice guy but I wanted to enjoy the view of the trail and not be distracted by his outfit.