My goal for 2014 was/is to “train more”. So far I have FAILed at meeting that goal. I don’t handle failure well. CONFESSION: This has NOT been a great year for me. Surprised? Yeah, I guess I have mastered the “fake it till you make it” lifestyle. It started with a longer than expected recovery from surgery with more downs than ups as I got closer to running season. I gained weight even though I was active. My body was out of whack and it really affected my confidence. Everything started coming together late Spring and then fell apart mid summer. Yes, I was on the podium a few times but I was never in great shape this season. In July I started gaining weight and as luck would have it my scale broke. Yippie. I dont know why I started gaining. I was active. Maybe it is because I started eating foods that I had taken out of my life. Last year I was in gastric distress most of the summer, I cut weight and was the smallest I had been since pre-college yet I was in the best shape in my adult life by the time I went into surgery in December. Late spring of this year I saw a GI specialist who gave me the green light to eat things that I thought were bad for me. Not a good move on my part to listen to him. When I started gaining weight I started falling back into my ole big girl ways. I took on that “screw-it” attitude. I was still eating what I wanted to whether I ran or not. I found many excuses as to why it was a challenge to stick to my training plan. I was frustrated with myself for not being in better shape as I go closer to my first 100k. I knew that I could do anything I put my mind to but I was concerned about my fitness and if my body would let me finish. I ended up having a great 100k experience minus the pain in my knees the last 5-7 miles. This pain eventually grew to an irritated ITB on my right side after the race (WTH, my left side has the reoccurring ITB pain, I was worried about my left!). So here I sit on my fat a$$ feeling frumpy and lumpy and out of sorts. I haven’t been able to run for a month, I started a second job that has sucked up some of my extra time, and I have tried several times to take back control and start my own fitness routine but that hasn’t worked for me. Time to swallow my pride and say “screw it” for another reason. I do feel that I can do this on my own. I don’t need a fad diet and I definitely should be able to do it using real food BUT…desperate times call for desperate measures. I need a boost to get me started. I plan to start this boost within the next week. I am also canceling my gym membership and resorting to a kick-ass video routine that I guess could fall into the “fad” category. I really do hope to incorporate some of these things into my lifestyle. I plan to go back to eating the somewhat Paleo diet that was working for me last year. I hope to lose some weight but more importantly I hope to gain some fitness. Most important I want to feel that well rounded happiness that I felt before things started falling apart. I am happy just not happy in all areas of life. Time to take control and get it back. #noregrets
“Short cuts make long delays” ~J.R.R Tolkien